This is a blatant rip-off of a recent piece in the Seattle Weekly, but I don’t give a damn. Here are a few local restaurants that could be a sex shop if you didn’t know any better. Sure, I may be making fun of some foreign language issues, but I’ll get over it if you do.
7. Humble Pie — Frankly, any place with the word “pie” in it will qualify here, but this Raleigh institution fit the bill.
6. Wang’s Kitchen — This is a silly, slightly politically incorrect take.
5. Fu Kee Express — See above, but this one is a lot funnier. If you need a quickie . . .
4. Buns — So simple. Sir Mix-A-Lot would like it here.
3. Woody’s — Anyone with this name deserves a spot here.
2. Twisted Noodle — I really don’t want to think too much what might go on in this place.
1. Jerk Masters — They’re the absolute best when it comes to a nice jerk.
Honorable Mentions: Pho Cali (come on, say it out loud), Roast Grill (actually, just for their “Hot Weiners” sign), Casalinga (sounds dirty to me), Hot Pot, Globe.